10.01.2008 0

The Religion of Global Warming: Broken Down

  • On: 10/15/2008 16:26:13
  • In: Energy Crisis, Global Warming Fraud, and the Environment
  • “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” – Matthew 7:15 (NIV)

    An oppressive and zealous new religion is crusading around the globe, creating multitudes of converts by the day. What makes this newfound cult all the more frightening is that it refuses to outwardly label itself as such, choosing instead to march under the banner of a “noble cause.”

    This “noble cause” that has garnered so much support, of course, is none other than the Green Movement. Although the tenets of conservation and environmental responsibility are noble to an extent, as ALG News reported earlier this week, the modern Green Movement is anything but. It, like many manmade religions of the past, seeks only to oppress the masses and bolster the standing of those wielding the most power, all under the guise of personal and collective salvation.

    The following breakdown seeks to illustrate just how the Green Movement is little more than yet another self-indulgent, roll-your-own religion. Upon studying the basic underpinnings of most religions, the correlations within the Green Movement are anything but coincidental:

    • God – As all religious have some form of Ultimate Power around which the religion is centered and towards which the devotees direct their worship, the god of the Green Movement needs barely to be mentioned: the Earth. Much like the Greek gods on Mars Hill, the god of the Green Movement goes by many names; the Environment, Mother Nature, Gaia, “our world,” etc., etc. But whatever the nomenclature it is a jealous god whose adherents put no other god before it (and allow no one else to, either).
    • The Devil – Also akin to numerous religions, the Green Movement has its own ominous evil force which has mercilessly set out to destroy us all: Global Warming. The Devil called Global Warming is the polar opposite of the god of the Greens. Global Warming wants to destroy the Earth and everyone on it. Everything that the Earth God stands for—harmony, peace, cleanliness, balance, nature—the Global Warming devil opposes and seeks to reverse. Naturally, the Greens want us all to fear Global Warming like we fear the boogey-man under the bed or the monster in the closet. If we do not resist its delicious temptations, the Global Warming devil will unleash his evil reign over us all, via hurricanes, heat waves, rising sea levels, and more.
    • Prophets – Most religions have their share of prophets and the Green Movement is certainly no exception. Consider Al Gore, for example. Mr. Gore has risen to the forefront as the greatly revered prophet of environmentalism who has come to inform all of us Earth dwellers of the coming apocalypse and what we can do to save ourselves. Through documentaries, interviews and speeches, Mr. Gore has prophesied his messianic message of environmental salvation to the world—despite the fact that he himself is an empty suit when it comes to personal energy usage.
    • Oracles – The unquestioned, unaccountable, and highly revered oracles of the Green Movement are the computer-generate “scientific models” and “hard facts” that are methodically trotted out by people like Al Gore and others to support their bogus arguments, as ALG News has reported. They always tell the Ultimate Truth—and you better not question their findings or their validity (even if your group happens to be comprised of 31,000 scientists!).
    • Sinners – The sinners of the religion of Environmentalism are all of those who either question—or ignore—the truth behind Global Warming. As one might expect, the bulk of these people are conservatives. Anyone who openly challenges the religion or knowingly disregards it is a despicable heathen and fool who ought to be ashamed for his or her malfeasance. He will be cast into the fires of…well, Global Warming.
    • Original Sin – The sin that set it all off was none other than the Industrial Revolution. Once mankind bit into the forbidden fruit of progress, the Earth God became most displeased. And it has been downhill ever since.
    • Disciples – The world is now rife with disciples of the Green Religion. These are the people who have devoted their lives to living in a way that pleases the Earth. Whether that is meticulously monitoring their carbon footprint, going out of the way to buy eco-friendly merchandise, or putting a solar panel on the roof, the green devotees have allowed the cause to permeate every facet of their lives. They are most easily recognized by the word “Prius” stamped on their foreheads.
    • Sacrifice – Offer up ye SUV, ye 72 degree thermostat and ye 16 oz. steak as sacrifices, for it is pleasing the Green Lord
    • Heaven – There is a great and wondrous afterlife awaiting all who humbly serve the god the Greens. This afterlife, however, is out of reach for those of us on the planet here and now. If we serve the planet as diligently as possible now, however, we can rest assured that someday in the distant future we will be rewarded with a clean, green paradise earth once again just as it was before its corruption by the original sin of industrialization. Unfortunately, none of us now present will be around to see it.
    • Hell – Don’t celebrate just yet. Be careful to do all you can here on Earth, though, because if we continue to sin and offend the planet then there will be nothing left for us other than environmental damnation. Global Warming hell will turn us all into Global Goop unless we act now and act fast. And just think, when the temperatures begin to rise, you won’t be allowed to turn up the air conditioner, nor don an asbestos suit—for both will have long since fallen to the Global Curse bane.

    Above all else, the most important thing we must all realize while examining the religious underpinnings of the modern Green Movement is the fact that, like all false religions, the religion of Environmentalism is all about power consolidation at the hands of the elites. While the masses have been duped into serving a false god, those at the top have relished their position and are using the Green cause to further extend their Big Government reign over the very planet that they profess to serve.

    And so ends today’s lesson from the Book of Al.


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