06.30.2009 0

Stop Lying B(L)S!!!

  • On: 07/21/2009 09:15:39
  • In: Economy
  • By Carter Clews

    “I have to tell you, you know, it’s part of reporting this case, this election, the feeling most people get when they hear Barack Obama’s speech. My, I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don’t have that too often.” — Chris Matthews, “Reporter,” MSNBC

    I just saw a chart that made my blood boil. And, if you’re a fellow “Tingly,” along with me and Chris Matthews, I think it will make your blood boil, too.

    Let me set this up for you first, so that you can join me and Chrissy in stamping our feet, holding our breath, and puffing out our cheeks until the rouge wears off!

    Now, we all know how the mean nasties of the world (and particularly former President George W. Bush) are always out to get President Barack (I-won’t-say-his-middle-name-because-I-know-how-bad-they-want-me-to) Obama. And they’re always saying awful things about him every time he throws a baseball like a girl, or becomes tongue-tied when his teleprompter breaks (as if, who wouldn’t?).

    Well, this time the naysayers have just gone too far. And I’m mad as hell. And I’m not going to take it anymore.

    You know and I know that Barack (I-w-s-h-m-n-b-I-k-h-b-t-w-m-t) Obama has singlehandedly rescued this nation from the worst recession since the Great Depression, and before that the Fall of Man. Despite all of the horrible messes George W. Bush intentionally left him with just to make him look bad, Barack has – just as he promised — turned the entire country around in his first 100 days in office (or however long it has been that he and Michelle have been jetting around the world posing for pictures and apologizing for everything everyone else ever did).

    Barack Iwshmnblkhbtwmt Obama promised to put General Motors back on the road to success by firing its president and letting government bureaucrats run the show and – presto — last month GM’s sales fell by just 33.4%. He promised to end the decline in home sales, and –whammo – home sales promptly fell 10.2% to a new record low.

    Imagine: all of that after only six months in office. One can hardly know what to expect next!

    And yet – and this is what really boils my blood – and yet, despite all of that, some despicable naysayers at the Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics have had the unmitigated gall to publish some godawful employment figures obviously intended just to make Iwshmnblkhbtwmt look bad. And, I’m really serious about that.

    You remember that when Barack ran, he said he was going to create 5 million new jobs quicker than you can shake a lamb’s tail … or 2.5 million new jobs … or 500,000 new jobs – or, well, whatever, there was going to be a bunch of them. So we could all shout “hallelujah” and head back to the front office.

    And now, right smack dab in the middle of the greatest recovery since the Lord healed the 10 lepers, that bunch of snakes over at the DOL BLS puts out one of the nastiest pieces of chart work I have ever seen (and I’ve seen a lot of nasty charts since I have the entire seven seasons of “House” on DVD). It pretends to show what happened over the past year in the top 12 states that had the greatest employment rate changes. Here it is, so brace yourself:

    States with statistically significant unemployment rate changes from May 2009 to June 2009, seasonally adjusted


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