By Carter Clews
Buffalo Bob, we’re told, kept Howdy Doody in tip-top shape. Paul Winchell touched up Knucklehead Smiff on a daily basis. And it is reported (by his lovely daughter Candace no less) that Edgar Bergen treated Charlie McCarthy like a member of the family.
So, it should come as no surprise that Barack Obama is urging Congress to bail out the nation’s “news” organizations as they fall further and further into disrepute and destitution.
After all, when you have your hand up your puppet’s back, fill his mouth with your own words, and he sits supinely on your lap, the least you can do is keep the buzz saws at bay.
Clearly with Barack’s eager encouragement, Sen. Ben Cardin, the Junior Senator from the Peoples Republic of Maryland has introduced a bill – the so-called “Newspaper Revitalization Act” – that would give “news” outlets major tax breaks if they promise to continue shilling for Barack Obama. All right, that’s not the actual wording of the bill. But, after all, it’s the thought that counts.
Cardin’s bill would prop up failing media organizations that have so thoroughly alienated their former readers, listeners, and viewers that they couldn’t attract a following now if they gave away their shoddy fare with a free I-pod and a dinner date with their Fearless Leader and his First Lady.
Consider the Baltimore Sun – Mr. Cardin’s hometown newspaper. That once-formidable news institution is now so utterly disdained by “The City that [Used to] Read” that if the Ravens ever go the way of the Colts, the only folks who will buy the Calvert Street rag are the fishmongers at the Inner Harbor.
And the people of “Charm City” aren’t alone in their disdain for the media – Barack Obama’s slick puppetry notwithstanding.
According to a recent Pew Research poll, 63% of the American people no longer trust the nation’s “news” media to accurately report on what’s really happening in the world around them. Now, just imagine what that figure would be were it not for the viewing audience’s increasing reliance on Fox News. Can you say “Zero”? As in “Talk to my hand, Katie.”
It gets worse – for Katie, Matt, and Tingly Chris. According to a just released survey by the Sacred Heart Polling Institute, 89.3% of Americans believe the national media played a “sizable role” in helping Barack Obama get elected. Sixty-nine percent view the “news” media as intent on promoting their Puppet Master’s presidency. And 56.4 % say the media is pushing his government health care takeover.
It all makes sense, doesn’t it? The American people no longer believe what the mainstream “news” media says. So, they are no longer interested in buying its bogus products. And, since its product is bogus because it shills for Barack Obama, the Fearless Leader is now intent on bailing out his marionettes – at taxpayers’ expense.
All of which is oh-so neat, tidy, and much to the petulant Mr. Obama’s authoritarian liking … until one reads the rest of the Sacred Heart poll: Nearly 8 out of 10 Americans would oppose any plan to spend tax dollars to aid failing newspapers.
In fact, here’s how Jerry C. Lindsley, the director of the Sacred Heart Polling Institute summed up the “news” media’s pathetic plight: “The perception of bias will eventually catch up with the news media outlets — we found 45.9% have permanently stopped watching a news media organization, print or electronic, because of perceived bias.”
So, here’s the bottom line for Barack Obama: Barry, old fellow, it looks like you’re going to have to force your media bailout through just as you are trying to do your health care takeover – despite the overwhelming objections of the American people.
Buffalo, Paul, and Edgar are gone. So, now it’s up to you to keep alive the time-honored tradition of filling the mouths of knee-jerk dummies. Lots of luck.
Carter Clews is the Executive Editor of ALG News.